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substack takeover: amanda auble

preface

hello and welcome to the diving horse’s first substack takeover. this week, amanda auble, local artist, writer, and teacher, has the floor. i’ll let her take it away:


Press-on nails. I recently complimented a fellow artist for her nails and she admitted to me that they were press ons. I always admire this. It’s the same enthusiasm I share when a dress has pockets, when a thrift store skirt only cost five dollars. Some people I know say this is admitting that what you wear is cheap— it ruins the illusion, they say. I see it as breaking the illusion entirely. We just let ourselves out of the house of mirrors it is to be a woman. You got away with it! You got away with making something that could be insignificant—that could be nothing— instead become everything.

I can’t stop thinking about press-on nails also because I can’t afford the actual nail salon anymore. A year ago, I could get my nails done every month or so— full sets of colorful acrylic $80-$100 with tip. It was always worth it. I feel like $1 million. That’s what I miss now that things are so unaffordable. I miss nail salons. Gas and groceries take priority. I would rather die than spend money at a Freedom Fuel location (look out other EHT commuters— you guessed it, they are a scam.) Men love to say nails are frivolous and an easy-cost-to-cut. Wrong. Nail salons are community. Yes, I am always too afraid to speak up for what I want while I’m there, but I’m in there. I’m in a room with confident women who are making each other beautiful in more ways than we realize

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I will have to settle for Walgreens and TJ Maxx impulse buys. Press ons that I’ll save for a good occasion. Still, women I know will make a community from this— that shared bond when we admit: yes, these nails are press ons. Same here, diva.


Press-on nails are actually what brought me to Claire here at the Diving Horse. We were both invited to an artist table at the Marty Small gala. Claire, a true girls’ girl, reported to our table about an emergency in the bathroom: someone’s dress had ripped apart. Luckily, that night, I had decided to wear press on nails. I kept the nail glue in my purse just in case. I offered it to Claire and she said this woman was able to fix her dress! Women in STEM!


Nail glue was also how I opened when I DMed Claire that I wanted to maybe write something for a June Diving Horse issue. Just like press on nails, I flaked and fell off. (Sorry, writing paralysis!) but I’m really grateful to be ready to write now. That’s all we can do— regule the nails till they stick.

Some of my favorite reactions to my nails (real and fake) come from my middle school students. For my day job, I am a 7th grade English teacher. My 13 year old students notice (and roast) everything. They would compliment me and we would bond over nails.


Because I’m a middle school teacher, I’ve been really into silent reading. In fact, I get jealous that my students get a full 20 minutes every single day in my classroom to read their own books. I am usually multitasking: grading, conferencing, stressing.


That’s why I wanted to start the Main Character Club— because I’m jealous of some 13-year-olds. The fact that they get the time in their day to do something that my middle school brain used to love. A lot of them hate it. I try to get them to hate it as little as possible.

Now that we’re adults we don’t get it. We’re also on our phones all the time I personally feel addicted to the scrolling.


The main character club is, in one way, a chance to get us all reading again. There’s a really sad but interesting article in The Atlantic saying that reading is dead. As a middle school teacher, I can say there is still a pulse, but yes our collective reading needs some healing. I can’t help but think I’m pushing for a big cause against the dying art form of reading. Righteous! And in another ways, I also feel foolish. I am also just upholding what is clearly now going to be a subculture. Reading may just be a hipster, cool, elite, privileged thing to do. Maybe I’m too late and just doing it for clout. We will find out!


The Main Character Club will meet on Monday, August 10 starting at 4pm at Angeloni’s Club Madrid.

Here’s how it will work: At 4pm, we start with mingling! Find a seat: there are cozy chairs and couches everywhere in club Madrid so this will be fun! Take pics, order some food and drinks, chat with people, or chill alone! I am always a loner at events like this, so don’t feel pressure to talk!

At 4:30, I will introduce the event, then I’ll start a timer for 30mins. Everyone will dull their chatter, put their phones aside, and read! The silence may be awkward (again I teach middle schoolers and we are all like them still at heart!)


When the timer goes off, we’ll take a little break. If anyone wants to leave or eat or change locations go for it! At 5:15, I’ll start us on another 30mins. When the timer is done, we will debrief and chat and be on our way!

I’m hoping that this all leads to some good. Maybe it just leads to some moments off the algorithm if anything

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I’m also hoping it doesn’t lead to reading snobs. Please don’t come with judgement and rip on the “right” way to read or the “important” books of our time. Yes, it’s great that you read all of Kurt Vonnegut when you were a teenager, but if someone is approaching Slaughterhouse Five for the first time— give them grace. If they read a graphic novel, shout them out for the visuals. I will cheer on people if they read the back of a cereal box. No style or genre or author is below or above another so keep your judgement to yourself.


Also, please GIVE UP! If there’s a book you’re HATING, put it down! Reading can be challenging, but it should not be suffering! I tell my students all the time to give up books they don’t like so they can keep moving. The 13 year old don’t hesitate so neither should you.


What we can do is give recommendations. Those are just personal things we love and want to gush about. Again like press on nails we want to let you in on the fun exciting things we got away with. Here are some of my favorites that I gush about and that will be at the main character club on Monday, August 10.


  1. Invisible Cities by Ítalo Calvino

Funny story. To get my middle schoolers to read I started a reading raffle. I have tickets for every book finished. Some anti reading boys tried to cheat the system. They started reading super short books and racking up tickets. I was so pissed that they outsmarted me. Then I realized they were READING. These were boys who would literally rather throw stones at a wall were READING. Total uno reverse card. This taught me that small books still matter! This is a great small book to get you to love reading and feel accomplished. It is an imagined conversation between Marco Polo and Kublai Khan. Every page is fantasy and poetry and it feels like a fable. I want to read more Calvino!


  1. The Hounding by Xenobe Purvis

This is a Salem witch style story that flies by. I love a good mystery and a good weird girl narrative. This is a standout for the year 2026.


  1. Martyr by Kaveh Akbar

It’s clear a poet wrote this book. It is so real and raw. Another painter I admire recommended this book to me and it did not disappoint. When writing becomes a fine art.


  1. The Autobiography of Malcolm X

    I used to be a huge nonfiction girly. This is one of my top of all time. This book changed my whole outlook on life in high school, and it was in a challenging way. Glad I did not put it down and kept going. Yes abandon books but wow long ones like this can really make you feel brand new.


  3. The God of the Woods by Liz Moore

I read this and kept thinking wow it’s like an HBO crime series. Now Netflix is picking it up. Meant to be and wow a page turning read.



claire again:

get a full list of the week’s events here: https://www.divinghorseac.com/events

and stay tuned for the paid substack this week, about fortune teller and palm reader frank martini

see you guys at angelonis on monday!!! :) for the best happy hour in perhaps all of new jersey. bringing all magazine + favorites from my vintage mag collection + fave ac books + etc :)

get more of amanda in your inbox by following her here ——>


 
 
 

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