summer conversations: devotee-maxxxing with colin murphy

What's something about Atlantic City you didn't expect, good or bad, that's stuck with you?

I didn't expect it's revival. A long time dream of mine was to see an Atlantic City renaissance and transformation, and I really did not expect it to actually occur. Now I feel like it is, slowly but surely, and it's stuck with me. Regrow AC.

What does Ocean City teach you about Atlantic City and vice versa? They're 10 miles apart and feel like different countries.

Born, raised, and still in OC, there is so much I could say. I have many qualms with consumer culture, the entitlement that comes with wealth, and superficial temporary distractions that slake a soul's thirst worse than a bottle of white vinegar. Material possessions cannot fulfill the void caused by a lack of an authentically grounded, spiritual practice, and a caring supportive community. I can still find traces of beauty and peace, safety and pleasantness, and that I am grateful for, but the dominating culture of American consumerism really taints it. And there's no music. It's incredibly boring.

Ocean City white kids were pretty much taught to fear Atlantic City. I don't think enough white people do enough deep introspection into what racism really looks like and how systemic racism has shaped our current realities. Hand in hand with the race issues are the class issues. Jesus has a lot to say about the rich. I am praying that some day, through gardening projects, we can grow a stronger connection all up and down the coast, and heal the cultural divides that keep us so separate. I yearn to see rich men inspired by the same love for life that I feel and choose to devote more of their wealth to growing and protecting nature.

You texted me you're "devotee-maxxxing" these days, can you walk me through what that means in practice. Like what does a day of devotee-maxxxing look like.

When I wake up, I set my mind to focus on the loving presence of the Holy Spirit. All day I am breathing in love and allowing it to transform my mind. I strive to offer everything up to the Lord. I spend hours with holy texts such as the Bible, Srimad Bhagavatam, Bhagavad Gita, and others. When able, I volunteer as much free time as possible, serving the people I love and building meaningful connections, unattached to monetary gain. All of these things have been viscerally transforming my body, heart, mind, and soul. This is all part of the practice of Raja Yoga. Swami Kripalvananda used to call himself a pilgrim on the path of love, and that is exactly how I feel.

Chapter 12 of the Bhagavad Gita translated by Stephen Mitchell is called the Yoga of devotion. It is a great passage that adequately explains my practice and can be found for free online.

What got you into it? Was it the coworker who's a devotee of Krishna or was something already cracking open?

First some pretext:

In my 20's, I studied, trained, and practiced various forms of yoga, magic, mysticism, biohacking, qi-gong, alchemy, esotericism, any occult material I could get my hands on, witchcraft, you name it. I was fascinated with enlightenment and the multitude of ways people perceive the divine reality. I was still very immature and arrogant. I lost a lot of interest during the pandemic and prioritized the pursuit of material pleasures, but never truly found myself satisfied.

In 2025, I went on a wilderness adventure and had the most profound vision of Jesus I've ever experienced. My entire body was electrified with the most calm, blissful intensity while visions of him flashed in my mind's eye. I decided to start reading the 4 gospels, and found an entirely new perspective. I discovered the archetypes of the spiritual revolutionary, the loving rebel, the defender of innocence, the many manifestations of divinity in the story of Jesus, but I still felt somewhat lost. Why couldn't I feel His presence all the time? What was I doing wrong? I had no income. I was depressed. I felt trapped in my living situation, disconnected from nature, and beaten down by the crushing weight of watching our country and planet getting ransacked by pedophiles and the predator Epstein class. There are many connections between these sick, tormented people and the forces of evil that Jesus opposed. I had a severe unraveling of repressed CS trauma that left me totally paralyzed in bed for 2 days, stuck in the darkest loneliness I've come to know. Processing it allowed me to connect deeper with my body. Then the Lord provided me an incredible job with an incredible team working with urban gardening, education, and media.'

After my experience in the woods with Jesus, a year of wandering, and saying no to a lot of people and opportunities that didn't feel spiritually aligned, the Holy Spirit finally led me to Coastal Cousins Heritage Gardens. I think I was cracking open, but now I find myself in a job with a small circle of elders who have become some of my greatest heroes and role models. We are all devoted to growing a new future for humanity and healing the traumas that create cultural division. My coworker from West Bengal, Jit (I call him Gurujit), has become a dear friend, and a beautiful reminder of my yoga path (Jai Sri Swami Kripalvananda). Feeling much of my Catholic Jesus trauma healed, I now perceive an ever lasting, all pervading light of love shining in my heart. I began to receive ancient transmissions that come with a new understanding of Sanskrit mantras. Gurujit and I sing Hare Krishna, Radhe Radhe, and the Bhakti yoga has totally blasted open my heart with a new love for God I never knew I could feel. It's as if my devotion to the path of selfless service led me right back to the yoga practices I had given up years ago. Maybe Jit is actually an enlightened master who transmitted shaktipat when he touched my forehead and that's what I've been feeling. Whatever it is, I now feel that presence of Jesus I felt in the wilderness at all times, radiating from my heart.

You wrote: "from my heart pours forth a well of never ending bliss. all that i do, an offering to vishnu." That's a pretty big sentence. Is that something you'd have said a year ago?

So much trauma has been inflicted in the name of Jesus. A year ago, I still had much repressed trauma. All I've experienced since then is truly ineffable. I'm talkin cleansing cosmic bloodlines, reversing ancient curses, clearing the effects of ritual human sacrifice and the American death cult type shit. A year ago, I think I would have been afraid of Vishnu, but now I just see Vishnu as a representation of God's goodness, the force of God that bestows life and has the power to transform our hearts and minds. I see Jesus as an avatar of Vishnu. Language barriers, white supremacy, and Christian nationalism prevent us from becoming like little children and seeing the kingdom of heaven. I feel within the presence of Vishnu, Krishna, Jesus, Brahman, Shiva, and also, now more than ever, their divine feminine consorts, Radhe, Mary Magdalena, Saraswati, Laksmi, Shakti, Kali. Yesterday, I came to the passage where Mary Magdalena sees Jesus on the cross. I actually felt her soul and began to weep. I've been crying a lot lately, tears of revelation. I've begun to see all women as manifestations of the goddess and my heart breaks for the way women and the goddess have been treated.

I also think giving up alcohol in early April has had a tremendous affect. Our body has an innermost temple that houses the Lord, the anandamaya kosha (Taittiriya Upanishad (2.1-5)). It is covered up by the veils of our mind, body, and emotions. Impure action dirties the veil and the radiance is dimmed. Disciplined spiritual practices cleanse the veil, allowing bliss to radiate from within.

You and your coworker have been talking about parallels between the Bhagavad Gita and the Bible, between Hindu prayer and Christian prayer. What's surprised you most in those conversations?

The book of revelations and a hymn I learned from Gurujit both explain the return of Christ/Krsna at the end times to battle with the forces of evil on this planet. This happens on every planet in the Kali Yuga, the age of ignorance. We are in the Kali Yuga. Thousands of years of mankind's ignorance and greed has led to a day and age where humans are completely out of touch with nature and morality. All of the sages advise us, only through rejecting ignorance and turning towards love and truth can we be set free. Love and Truth is my guide.

Cooking is kind of inherently devotional imo. You prep food someone else eats and a lot of times you'll never see them again. Is that something you think about when you're whipping up weenies?

When I worked at Java Jane's on the OC boardwalk 10 years ago, I was beginning my spiritual journey. I started to perceive every customer as a manifestation of God, and it was my duty to be as loving and present as possible while making the drink. Om Namo Bhagavate Vasudeva. I bow to the one that lives in all beings' hearts, the pure ray of living light and innocence, untainted by the mind and its prejudices. There were definitely some people that began to notice. I just saw it as God playing a little game with me.

Mindfulness, presence, focus, intention, love, prayer, nourishment, transformation, the divine mother, Jesus', the Holy Spirit, Krishna, Radhe, Kali Ma, all of these things are on my mind all the time, especially when I am feeding people. I've heard many gurus say "if you want to meet Jesus, feed the world." Feeding people and Jesus are 2 of my favorite things.

Atlantic City's whole history is people using religion to control other people's behavior. You're approaching religion from the totally opposite direction, devotion as a personal practice, generous, open. How do you keep your spirituality from getting hijacked by people who'd want to weaponize it?

There is no one that can stand between me and what lives inside me, except for my own mind. I've been blessed with opportunities to sit in the radiance of some extraordinarily divine people. I have a lot of guardian angels and a very loving family. I've had revelations of past lives and other profound glimpses into astral planes of consciousness. I've been doing this work for a long long time, which I think has prevented me from being ensnared by any culture churches. The modern church is a business. The earliest disciples of Christ gathered in homes to commune. Holy Communion is meeting at a table with God at the center, like the last supper, giving humble thanks and praise. We don't need no preachers on the pulpit, hollering hypocrites, or towering temples to take more money from the working man. The servant is the greatest among us. A master servant is the master's master. Let's gather in love with food and music and serve each other and the community.

What's one place to eat that isn't Anchor Rock Club where you'd send someone?

I and I love me some Yardy's.

One thing tourists should stop doing immediately?

Stop judging with no intention to understand or hold compassion.

One thing they should start doing?

Going to more shows at Anchor Rock Club where they can buy the best grilled cheese they'll ever eat from my lil kitchen window.

If a tourist had one hour in Atlantic City and nothing else, where do they spend it?

Order take out from Yardy's or empanadas from Boom Market and eat that jawn in a community garden. I recommend the fisherman's park garden, or the Peace and Unity Revival garden at Hamilton church on Connecticut and Arctic where, if you're lucky, you'll get to meet the head gardener Damon Smith. He is a wellspring of knowledge and inspiration.

The issue is themed around freewill-maxxxing, which is basically about using your free will toward good things, getting outside, talking to strangers, choosing good karma. Devotee-maxxxing sounds like it's almost the opposite, surrendering instead of choosing. But I don't actually think they're opposites. How do you see it?

The reason I choose this path of devotion is based on trial and error. My free will has led me down paths of addiction. When I surrendered my will to selfless service, doorways I never knew existed began to open. I was in darkness, and I reached the light at the end of the tunnel to find myself surrounded by amazing people that are also pilgrims on this path of love.

What are you devoted to right now besides your spiritual practice? What's the secular version of devotion in your life?

I am still devoted to my secular music projects, but even music is highly spiritual so does that count? I've been losing a lot of interest in anything that isn't related to my spiritual studies, gardening, or following whatever guidance the Holy Spirit of love has for me moment to moment. I've felt for many years God gave me the gift of music so I can spread his love. If the Good Lord wills it, I'm receptive to his blessings. It's hard to see anything I am devoting myself to as separate from spiritual practice or secular by nature. I am devoted to nurturing the growth of consciousness starting from within my very own being. I am beginning to feel all of life becoming sacred. Ya boi does love to eat tho, but I've been feeling this transformation affect my diet and cravings as well. We'll have to see. Stay tuned.

If you wish to get in touch to follow my journey, connect to the local gardening community, or check out my new music coming out, follow me on Instagram @where_is_colin. I also plan on posting meditations, revelations, and epiphanies on my YouTube channel @WhereisColin. I'll be dropping details about my music, local events, and ways to join the team of volunteers I am assembling. Together we can grow a new reality.

listen to his new ep now!

https://colinwilliamsmurphy.bandcamp.com/album/summer-ep